Jennifer’s Not Engaged!

Or she is. Or she's single. Or some combination of those.

It’s been a strange week for Jennifer Aniston. Caught in some quantum-mechanical space-time conundrum, it seems she’s simultaneously engaged and not engaged. According to US Weekly, Vince Vaughn has proposed. But according to a People Magazine interview, Jennifer said she isn’t engaged. You know, Shröedinger’s cat had this problem—it was simultaneously dead and not dead. Somebody needs to relieve her of this condition.

“I’m not engaged and I don’t have a ring and I haven’t been proposed to,” Jennifer said in People. Okay, that sounds pretty emphatic. Could she then, perhaps... be single?

Our Aruba fantasy remains alive…

Drugs a factor in Anna Nicole's son's death?

More details have been released regarding the mysterious and sudden death of Daniel Smith, Anna Nicole Smith’s 20-year-old son. According to a Bahamas police official, Daniel died quietly while visiting his mother in her hospital room after she gave birth to a daughter.

Daniel had arrived in the Bahamas on Saturday night to visit with his mother and his new sister. At one point he was believed to have gone to sleep. Said Reginald Ferguson, assistant commissioner of the Royal Bahamian Police Force, "It would appear from our report that the mother had gotten up, saw him in the chair and he appeared to be sound asleep. She tried to wake him up, he was unresponsive, and she sounded the alarm."

One report, which was quoted on PerezHilton.com, claims that Daniel may have died from a drug overdose. An insider revealed, "All we know right now is that he was on anti-depressants. Some things indicate that he probably overdosed on those drugs." This goes against a statement made on Anna Nicole’s website that claimed that drugs were not suspected in Daniel’s death. An autopsy was scheduled to take place on Monday, though the results have not been released.

Spears, Federline Have Second Son

LOS ANGELES — Britney Spears gave birth to her second son early Tuesday at a Los Angeles hospital, according to several entertainment magazines.

The baby boy was delivered around 2 a.m. at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, Us Weekly reported on its Web site Wednesday, citing an unnamed family source. The child was delivered by a scheduled Cesarean section procedure, People.com reported.

The newborn's name wasn't immediately released. Spears' New York-based publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, did not return a call to the Associated Press seeking comments.

It was the second child for Spears, 24, and her husband, Kevin Federline, 28.

The baby arrived just days before their son Sean Preston's first birthday on Thursday.

Federline also has a daughter and a son with actress Shar Jackson.

They're Bringing Sexy Black

Women know that if they want to look sexy and get noticed, there's nothing better than a little black dress to grab everyone's attention.

Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Petra Nemcova and Dita Von Teese all showed off their best assests as they hit the red carpet sporting sexy and stunning styles.

Alan Alda Was Shocked To Win Another Emmy

Alan Alda was stunned when he won his sixth Emmy last month because he was so sure he wouldn't win that he went on a family holiday to Europe and skipped the ceremony. The actor decided to go ahead with plans for a family vacation, even after learning the ceremony had been moved to August from its traditional slot in September.

He talked about his win today on Live With Regis And Kelly saying, "I'm so thrilled by this. I'm so happy. I swear to God, if I were Tom Cruise and you were a couch, I would jump up and down on you! It made me so happy and I couldn't be there. My daughter planned a trip to Europe months and months ago and it was her children's first time seeing Europe. I didn't want to miss that.

"I knew that in August they didn't have the Emmys, so we'd be safe. Then they faked me out, they put it in August and I had to make this terrible choice between the lives of these dear little grandchildren and going to the ceremony. We're in France and it's the middle of the night when they give out the award, so I'm like 'I'll find out in the morning'...

"So I had to get up in the middle of the night, so I'm coming back and I see on the computer all these emails coming in and I think, 'Wait a minute, I don't think they're all saying tough luck...' I found out at 3:30 in the morning that I had won! We have a granddaughter whose name is Emmy and we had been playing card games all day long that day. So I wake up my wife in the middle of the night and I say, 'I won the Emmy!' She's still half asleep and she says, 'You beat Emmy at cards?'"

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fug like me?

While I'm stunned that the Pussycat Dolls managed to win an MTV VM-Eh award, I'm always happy to see this anonymous gaggle of "singers" prowling the red carpet.

Lead Cat -- we know she's the lead because she is allowed to stand slightly ahead of the rest -- actually looks okay, as does the blue sparkly one next to her, who resembles an Apollo 13 wife on her way to a launch party but is at least managing to make retro-chic work for her a bit. Well, except for the bun, which I suspect cost $13, and may actually be a pastry with cheap hair extensions wrapped around it.

Duff Cat on the left up there continues her remarkable embrace of all things Hilary Before Her Good Makeover -- down to the little extra-cinched hem on her dress, which echoes something Hil has already worn. But she should fire whomever chose a dress for her that has built-in wrinkles; ditto Bland Cat, second from the right, who looks like she shook it out from a crumpled heap in her neglected dry-cleaning pile and figured that no one would notice because one of the other cats was bound to look worse. (She was half correct.) And Posh Cat on the far right, whom I once thought bore a passing facial resemblance to everybody's favorite footballer's wife, was obviously erroneously inspired by Lindsay Lohan's Shakespearian bloomers. She barely coughed up a hairball's worth of original fug.

Aged Cat, meanwhile, looks like the cocktail waitress at the Playboy Mansion's Senior Bunny Texas Hold 'Em tournament. I mean, she's sporting a VISOR with her dress. A VISOR, PEOPLE. You know who else wears visors? Kevin Federline. And come to think of it, there's a slight facial resemblance to him in this photo. So until she earns her way back out of this reeking bog, she's known to me only as Federfeline. And being a groin-licking mewling version of Mr. Spears is a sad, sad fate indeed.

Letterman inks CBS deal for 4 more years

NEW YORK — David Letterman is planning to outlast Jay Leno in late-night television. CBS Corp. and Letterman have agreed to a four-year contract extension that will keep the comic on the "Late Show" through the 2009-10 television season, according to two executives familiar with the negotiations who spoke on condition of anonymity Thursday because the deal wasn't fully done.

That would keep Letterman, 59, on the air past NBC's planned 2009 hand-off of the "Tonight" show job from Leno to Conan O'Brien.

Leno and Letterman have been competing in late-night since 1993, after NBC chose Leno for "Tonight" and Letterman jumped to CBS.

For most of that time, Leno has had the upper hand in the ratings. For the past year, Leno has averaged 5.71 million viewers each night to Letterman's 4.16, according to Nielsen Media Research. That gap is more than 200,000 viewers wider than the previous year, mostly due to Letterman's audience shrinking, Nielsen said.

Letterman has suffered through health problems in recent years that has led to some speculation that he might not want to do the job much longer. Heart surgery in 2000 and a case of shingles in 2003 kept Letterman off the air for brief periods.

But Letterman has apparently concluded that he's up to the challenge of competing with O'Brien, who took over Letterman's NBC show after the move to CBS.

NBC announced two years ago its unusual long-off succession plan, done primarily to prevent O'Brien from moving to another network.

Spokesmen for CBS Entertainment and Letterman would not comment on negotiations. The agreement was first reported Thursday in the Hollywood Reporter.

Tom and Katie’ girl Suri Cruise in Vanity Fair magazine

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ baby girl Suri has finally come out in the spotlight so that people ( if I can name them so ) can have concerns like where did Suri get her’ Asian’ features from? Why does the child - who by the way has her mother looks - has to pay for the parents reputation, come to think about this irritates me like when the pop celebrity Britney Spears’ baby who was named by Esquire magazine the worst-dressed, the poor kid doesn’t even speak!

For example TMZ.com wonders whether or not Suri’s delicate, almond-shaped eyes, the milky, pale-ish skin tone, the striking mane of dark, dark hair will lead to an article in Vanity Fair magazine as to why the tiny tot “has Lucy Liu’s eyes” in “six years”, while website Gawker posted an Asiatic-looking parody shot of the baby. Incredible!

Anyway the pictures of the celebrity family ( Tom, Katie and Suri ) are available in Vanity Fair magazine’s new issue with a full 22-page album of the happy family that shows the baby and her parents.

Pamela Anderson holding her boobs

At Comedy Central, Pamela was shot holding her large twins…

Paris Hilton arrested for DUI

TMZ reports that Paris Hilton has been arrested in Hollywood last night (actually this early morning) and charged with driving under the influence. Her Mercedes was stopped by LAPD when they noticed her driving all over the place.

Upon being tested, she blew .08, the minimum blood alcohol level in California (how the heck was she driving erraticly with just .08?), so she was arrested and taken for booking to the local police station.

So far, there are no reports of her calling anybody "sugar tits" or bitching about the Jews. So we gotta give it to her: she’s far more polite than Mel Gibson… or may be her mouth is stuffed with something right now, and she can’t talk.

Kevin Federline devastated

Ok, as IF I genuinely care about K-Fed, but to be honest, I find it reassuring that he’s finally realizing that rap may not be his thing!

According to US Weekly, Kevin Federline has publicly put on a brave face despite his poorly reviewed debut rap performance at the August 20 Teen Choice awards, but insiders tell Us Weekly he’s devastated.

“He was actually crying,” says a source. The next day, at home in Malibu, California, wife Britney Spears, 24, “also cried for him…She didn’t leave him alone all day,” says the source. (Their rep had no comment.)

According to another source, though, the pair were “thrilled” because the performance landed K-Fed another gig: In October, he’ll guest-star on CBS’s CSI as the leader of a violent gang. Dustin Abraham, the episode’s writer, tells Us, “He has this cockiness and confidence that I like. But I told him…he needs to be the guy that you hate. It’s the perfect role.” Federline’s approximately five days of shooting began August 24.

Lindsay Lohan is probably engaged

Lindsay Lohan likes to wander around in public with giant diamond rings on her engagement finger. She was spotted with the ring at the premiere of Bobby at the Venice Film Festival, suggesting she's either engaged or just has no respect for standard social conventions. Who wears rings on their engagement finger unless they're engaged? It'd be like using the toaster to boil water. Or trying to make a pot of coffee with the TV.

One more closeup of Lindsay Lohan's engagement ring after the jump. I can't confirm if it's the one Harry Morton bought for her from Cartier, but it definitely looks a bit more expensive than the stuff I usually find in cereal boxes.

Britney Spears names her new baby Jailynn

The NY Daily News reports Britney Spears is planning to name her new daughter Jailynn in honor of her parents, Jamie and Lynn, and her little sister, Jamie Lynn. The child is also reportedly set to be delivered via C-section and will share the same birthday as Sean Preston, September 14.

Her music should've already given away how uncreative Britney was, but naming Jailynn after Jamie, Lynn, and Jamie Lynn? It's a wonder she didn't accidentally name her first kid 'Britney.' And I know it's cruel to make fun of a baby, but Sean Preston is the angriest most evil looking child I've ever seen. Sure, Britney and Kevin didn't get to handpick their personal Asian baby from the baby store like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but there's no reason I should be lying in bed with the covers pulled over my head because I'm afraid this little baby is going to crawl up the side and start eating my insides. Then again if Britney and Kevin were my parents I'd probably be filled with hate and rage too.

A few more of a really angry Sean Preston after the jump, including one where he looks like The Godfather.